Kesha

My dear Kesha,

So much time has passed since you sat on my work bench and watched as I was working. And yet, remembering you still brings me warmth. You were such a kind, friendly soul, always ready to be close, always finding your way onto my lap or up onto my shoulder.

I remember the weight of you resting against me, and those little drops of drool on my neck when you settled in. You know that I loved even that. It was such a small, ordinary thing then, and it has become one of my most precious memories. If I could have another moment with you, I would gladly choose that one: you on my shoulder, comfortable and content, and me happy simply because you were there with me.

You never needed words to make me feel loved. Your trust, your affection, and your gentle company said everything. Being your person was a joy, and having you as my friend is something I will always be grateful for.

I sometimes say you were the best animal friend I ever had. But “were” never feels quite right. You are still my dear friend. Time has changed how I hold you in my hands, but it has not changed how I keep you in my heart.

About a year after you passed away, I asked an acquaintance, the renowned artist Pyotr Schwartzman, to create a portrait of you. I sent him your photographs and wished him to depict you as you sleep peacefully, so that I could keep that gentle image of you for all the years to come. He kindly brought my wish to life. There you are, my dear Kesha, curled up in quiet contentment, just as I love to remember you. 

I hung your portrait on the wall leading to my bedroom, where I see you every night before I go to bed. There you are, giving me comfort and helping me settle into a restful sleep of my own. And every morning, it makes me smile to find you still relaxing, in no hurry at all, as a much-loved cat has every right to be.

I do not know what you do during the day and see no reason to inquire. I trust you implicitly. Your days are yours to enjoy; I am simply happy to see you there each evening still making my home feel like home.

Loved then. Loved now. Always my Kesha.